Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Momma and A Thousand Things - Part-2

I was watching this program on National Geographic about a bridge in Japan. Maa loved the program, and was engrossed in it the way I watch Will Smith without blinking an eyelid! :) Yeah, I am wholly unapologetic about it :-/

Alright, so I suddenly found something about the narrator. Have you ever watched those translated-into-Bangla programs? I understand it does a great good to people who like to watch such programs but find it hard to follow the rapid accented English. But please translate it properly. They make the whole concept so confusing. I mean, there was this man who at first said that "Probol haowa ei bridge-er shotru" (strong wind is the enemy of this bridge). and then he goes on to say "Probol haowa teo er kichu hobe na" (Even strong wind will not damage it). It simply confuses straight people like me, that's all.

Anyway, back to the narrator. So, this narrator was sincerely teaching the technicalities of the bridge, and Maa was watching it as if her exams depended on it. And bang! Right at that moment I found out that the narrator sounded like Ranjit Mallik!! I'm sure you've heard Mr.Mallik, and if you are unlucky enough to not have done it till now, please rent a Bengali movie that stars him and watch and laugh! Well, women above 50years generally find him handsome, and a good actor, and may be even he is. But just his accent, that speaking-through-my-teeth-as-if-I-am-playing-a-jatra is too much for me!

And I make the mistake of pointing that out to my Maa. The reaction? The famouse how-can-you-be-so-insensitive look that almost made me want to duck for cover. But being the determined Scorpio that I am, I held my ground and swallowed my pride and watched the whole program.

P.S. - What did I do wrong if I seriously made that exciting discovery that may be N.G. was hiring Mr.Mallik for the narration? :(

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Momma and A Thousand Things

There's something called "mutual existence". That's exactly what happens between me and Maa. A small but significant example is to follow for you to follow my deduction!

Maa loves to watch channels like Discovery and National Geographic for all type of odd things like snakes, crocodiles, gorillas, cars, martial arts, chemistry, and what not. I admit she is versatile! I, on the other hand, am rather stunted. I prefer under-water, chemistry (though I still flaunt my Class-8 chemistry result where I managed to secure 33/300 throughout the whole year!! But then, chemistry didn't really seem this interesting as when it comes on tv!), martial arts (after all, I took Karate class for 4months when in high school and then the instructor resigned!! Yeah, that's very much an achievement, mind you!) and stuff. But somehow, I just cannot tolerate hungry, fighting, chattering animals. I guess they remind me of humans all around. :-/

Anyway, so Maa is sitting in front of the tv after dinner watching such stuff and calling me every now and then, "Aye, dekhe jaa!", "Ki sahos re eder!", "Ki buddhi re eder!" etc genuinely amazed exclamations. Now, not just I am least bothered about which snake has the largest head or which orangutan has been taught to dance like MJ, I also don't want to spend my bedtime stories hour while watching professionals doing things that always get more hype.

I think it would be nice to mention here that my Maa, being the typical innocent Aries, believes everything she sees. My childhood friends would always vouch for that, I know! They somehow prefer Maa more than me!!!! Anyway, as for her naivety, she used to be highly appreciative of the WWE matches, thinking that they were for real. And then, one fine Sunday afternoon, her two brilliant throwing-buckets-of-cold-water-on-innocent-enthusiasm kids (read me and Dada) revealed to her that these fights are all practiced and staged. I hate to think of the sad face that she made, almost like how-could-they-be-so-fake?

Enough about Maa. Let's please come back to me, after all I am taking the pain of typing while I should be taking a good nap. Ok, that was lazy and rude. Never mind!

Well, as for the West people doing all the amazing stuff. Somewhere, the post-colonial soul in me also gets all patriotic and wants to ask - 
* Why don't our fearless snake catchers find a place on screen while trained cockroach collectors do?
* Why are our movies termed as 'unbelievable' when they use imagination, and a Matrix or Scream is gaped at?
* Why is our indi-pop almost non-existent when Lady Gaga is all over the clubs and lounges?

Not that we are bad, but may be just that the Colonial hangover isn't over yet.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

What We SAY Is Not Always What We MEAN

The last time I goofed up big time and told my Maa, “yeah I’ll listen to your from the next time”, I didn’t really mean it. sure you don’t mean everything you say, right? After all, what’s the fun in saying things if you always mean them? Some little misunderstandings, some nice gossipy details,  a few exaggerations – what’s life without these? So, I thought why not try to put up a list of things that we say but we don’t really mean all the time?

And here is a little intro to this section, from Lewis Carroll –

… `Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.
`I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what I say--that's the same thing, you know.'…

Not really, you see. Sleeping while you breathe and breathing while you sleep is not really the same thing. (I borrowed this example from Lewis Carroll again.)

1. Leave me alone - So the first one is all about the typical Bangali ‘abhimaan’. “Leave me alone” is such an overused term, especially even when we don’t mean it. While we are secretly wishing the person would cajole us, nag us thoroughly till we happily give up and tell them why we are upset, the thing we say so many times during this process is “leave me alone”. I guess it is due to the excessive influence of Bollywood romance in our daily lives that we tend to forget that real life people are not really Raj or Simran who will stick along while we are being stubborn. So, a little uncalled for advice. If you don’t mean to be left alone, don’t repeat it. there are some really strange people around who don’t understand that “leave me alone” means “pamper me a bit more till I give up and tell you all”. Not everybody understands the thin line between anger and ‘abhimaan’!

2. You’re my best buddy – You are no more in school when your bench-mate won’t share their lunch with you if you don’t tell them that they are your best buddy. We have grown up, and some of us have grown tall as well(!!) Then why do we need to assure friends that they are the best friend we have? After all, how do we choose who is the best and who is not? One of my friends is completely opposite to who I am and we share a rapport for over a decade that even our parents fail to understand. And then I have this friend who is so fun to be with that we could spend hours together doing nothing and having fun. Another friend of mine, wherever they are living, we have constant contact and even when we get busy, we make sure to be in contact and share the daily things. Another is my strength to carry on with and in spite of things that happen. How do you decide who is the “best” one? It’s really tough, and also very unfair on the friends who love you so much.

3.  Love you too – Seriously, don’t say it if you don’t mean it. People may get bad heartaches afterwards when you tell them “oh, but I take you just as a friend!” It’s of course very liberal and modern to tell your friends that you love them, but just keep it for the really close ones. There is a fine line between fondness and love, and try to make this distinction. Especially for girls, we say “love you” too often, and may be sometimes just out of habit. But guys don’t really understand the casual “love you” things so well. so if you think this guy has a thing for you and you don’t want to have anything with him – even not harmless flirting – don’t tell him that you love him. Even when he has perhaps saved your life in some way. It’s going to be hard for him to forget your sweet voice ringing with those magical words. (Same here for the guys too.)

4.  Enjoy – I hate it when somebody texts me ‘enjoy’ when I am going for an interview. I mean, who actually enjoys an interview? It’s as bad as any exam, and perhaps even worse! Just the thought of going for a job makes me feel sad 'coz it reminds me that I am growing up. And not just that. Even when people have no clue about what the other person is talking about, they say “enjoy”. It’s become something like a standard reply to anything you don’t understand but feel the peer pressure to reply though.

5. Hmm… - And the three dots. Who invented dots, anyway? You don’t have anything to say, you text “…”. You are sad, you send “…”. You are pensive, you send “…”. And some people send them at the end of every sentence in a text, like “What are you doing?...” What is this supposed to mean, by the way? Don’t you know there are some exact punctuation marks in the use of English language? Even Microsoft Word shows “error” when you type "?" and follow it with "…" . You are angry, you send “Hmmmmmm…”. Why can’t people communicate anymore? Sms charges have reduced, and yet all we get is “…” .

I guess that was enough for a day. If I find any more of these expressions, I will add in another post.

And the reason for which Goddess Saraswati seems to be in my fingers right now is this - 

On my way towards office today, I took 2 buses of the wrong route only to realize just on time that I was on the wrong bus consecutively. Guess I was just too busy deciding who looks hotter - Hrithik or Ranbir!! Anyway, the 3rd time I asked the conductor twice till he threw me a nasty i-am-the-conductor-not-you glance.

P.S. - Somehow, I don't know how, I was not late!! (Phew)