When something bad, or even good, happens all of a sudden, it’s easier to accept it. Or at least because you are not prepared for it to happen, it is easier to stay alive before it happens.
But when you know that something BIG is about to happen on a certain date, no matter how good it is, you feel worried. At least I do. And if I shouldn't term it as worry, then I can safely call it apprehension. A complete change of life, schedule, days, food habits, free time, environment and so much more.
Before you start on your guessing-spree, No, I am not getting married. This is more personal. Well, marriage is personal too, but this is more of career oriented. And what’s worse is that the change is supposedly good. The opportunities, the returns, the whole matter of not-staying-back-unoccupied is good. And anyway, 25 is high time to leave studies and get on with real life. Most people I know have not had the opportunity – rather luxury – of studying for so long without any worries.
But this is just useless worry. I know. I wrote in my diary too. I discussed with my friends as well. And yet, unless I am actually on it, the apprehension will not go. This is basically the hatred for waiting.
Wait! I know what this is! This is impatience! My original characteristic! Now I know why I am feeling so restless these days. Because I am impatient, silly!
Well, I will definitely feel better now that the problem has been diagnosed. At least now I can tell myself to be patient and not harp on the impatient part of me. By the way, do you remember how Alice of Alice in Wonderland (the book, of course) used to scold herself for being silly? I have this habit from her. So, now I can scold myself for being impatient and doubting good opportunities.