Friday, December 12, 2014

It So Happened

This was a year where things simply went topsy-turvy. Lost a friend to honesty, my best friend got married and shifted to Mumbai, finally let go of a friend who had to be better forgotten, and then I finally decided to get married.

And then begins the process. To create one's profile, to select the criterion, to screen the profiles, to try to find out what I really want in my partner, and that frequent nervous attack whenever I try to figure out how it's all going to work out.

And can one deny the small heartbreaks? I have seen my bestie go through this rigorous arranged marriage process for around two years when she suddenly found this awesome man and then within a couple of months, they got married. I have seen her go through the failures, lose hope and pick herself up. I have seen her making the mistakes, lose her temper and yet continue to smile and survive. And now that I know I'm in her shoes and I will be facing probably the types that she met, and probably many unknown types as well, I wonder if I will be able to maintain faith.

I have been a firm believer in love - the kind that keeps two people together even against all odds and yet want to be with each other in the next few lives too. I had believed that only a love marriage can give me that kind of love, because in arrange marriages one doesn't get to fall in love and then decide to get married. It's almost always the other way round. But now I wonder if I am ever going to find that 'love' that makes me breathe. And even here, I take hope and inspiration from faith. I don't know what this faith comes from, but may be it's just an illusion. May be there's no such kind of love, and we all learn to adjust and compromise with time.

And all these philosophical words come because I am upset!

1 comment:

Rohit Nair said...

Nicely compiled.. :)