Epiphanies and Bollywood disappointments

So as they say, it is really not the world outside but your own heart that makes you who you are. The eternal and irreconcilable conflict of nature versus nurture, where what you are and what you are made, try to balance themselves equally trying to share the credit or shrug off the blame for the ultimate result. And thus, after an evening all by myself at a busy square in a Spanish city, I come to conclude that the exterior can not change what you feel inside unless you are ready to change it with your own conscious decision. And then you may as well be in a remote village of an unknown district of an under-developed country, but you may be a happy and content being. Well, this may not be a new revelation to many but this epiphany - when it comes on a personal level - tends to throw light on the events and their respective responses by the surrounding people.

Today, after a couple of depressing and distressing days in this foreign land, I decided to take a walk by myself. Well, I did not really walk that much, as my pedometer app showed a pretty dismal step count. Anyway, I took a tram and then a metro and went to a busy square of the city and sat there for sometime. And I spoke to two people who are pretty close to my heart, and in my home land. But those are just the inconsequential details. What I realized as I came back home was that it is really important to look at myself from a perspective. The more I am tied down by the strings and ropes of log-kya-kahenge and expectations, the less I give happiness a chance to find its way into my heart.

And the problem with happiness is that Bollywood has created such unrealistic picture of selfless love and selfless happiness that now if you try to talk of what makes 'you' happy, you sound like a selfish witch. *wink* And then again Bollywood has given such coming-of-age movies like YJHD where a Bunny still has to come back to a Naina to find true happiness and get tied down to family and Maratha Mandir's DDLJ show with popcorn. I still wonder, why couldn't he have chosen his kind of life and just gone ahead with his passions? Even at 30 and married, I simply don't get the logic of this movie. I can understand Aditi's decision that anyway she was not able to do anything worthwhile with her life, so she got married and the man was pretty docile as well, so I am sure she would have been able to continue with her wild ways every now and then that she got tired of being 'the good wife'. Anyway, it is always better to leave Bollywood to itself. May be I could write a proper review of any of the latest brainless creations like VDW. *wink*

Age has something to do with it

I know that I have never really felt my age and the post I am going to write today can be easily brushed off by terming it ‘escapist’. Yet, there is something more to it than meets the eye.

A month ago, I turned 30. Some say that age is just a number, while some say a woman should not reveal her age. I don’t agree with both groups. I don’t think that age is just a number, because every time we turn another day older, we have lost another day to time. We have lost another day to do something different, to do something better, something more. And no, we definitely do not need to hide our ages because it is not only insulting to our intelligence but also teaches us that it is okay to be dishonest and pretend that age has everything to do with beauty.

But the problem lies in the fact that I don’t think I am where I thought I would be once I reached the third decade of my life. It’s not that I am disappointed or regret anything. No, I don’t. And yet, I guess I thought I would have made at least one trip abroad by this time. May be saved more. Or been a better cook. Or even sing better.

Well, the singing part is mostly my fault, because I have stopped practising, and I hope to begin someday all over again. As for the cooking part, I try to whenever I can, and just like most people who have the luxury of hiring a cook, I like to try experiments and not the traditional dishes. But I need to concentrate on the day to day food as well, because it seems like these are the toughest ones. No, I haven’t taken any trip abroad yet, and I have not really saved up much. But the fourth day of the new year should be a good time to start doing so. And as for a trip, I did travel all by myself last year, which can be considered a real achievement for somebody coming from a protected household as mine. Well, come to think about it, I am really proud of that one trip to Bangalore.

 

And so, we come to the end of yet another post. I guess I just run out of things to write once I sit down and write. And at other times I have so much going on in my head. So it can be a good idea if I write down things at the moment and try to write them down late one. 

Bye.