i'm usually an early riser, but this morning it was different. i woke up at 4am, and the first thought that crossed my mind was that what if i'm to die this moment? it's not that i have anything to regret, for i have tried to be as honest to myself as possible in these 23years of my lifetime. but, the specific thought that has been worrying me since i woke up is that if i am to die today, what has been my last words to the people i know? alright, i know a hell lot of people and naturally, i don't like all of them. but what about those i do? what about those i care for? have i told them enough how much they mean to me? it does not always have to be a mushy affair. may be just a simple text message when they don't expect you the least, or just a call to ask how they're doing? why not a simple 'have a nice day' e-card? last evening i received a 'miss you' e-card from one of my friends, and i can't express in words how special it felt! she's been away for quite a long time now, and the card was a real surprise! why do we shy away from expressing love when we feel so free to express hatred? we hardly think twice before expressing anger on our mothers or siblings or friends. then why do we hesitate for a lifetime to tell them that we love them? when did "love" go out of fashion? if we look around ourselves, the most common sight we can find is discomfort. why not give some comfort to those who need it? do we actually need to wait for the Christmas to go to an orphanage and donate clothes to show that we care? when our mothers are ill, can't we just ask them twice a day if they're any better? can't we take notice when they need to take their medicine? when our brothers and sisters are having trouble in the school and are getting irritated at simple things in the house, can't we talk to them patiently? when did "patience" become a faux pas?
just a few thoughts i had this morning. i know they are a bit too heavy to come in the beginning of the day, but they are thoughts nevertheless. and thoughts that i am going to think upon. for i don't want to leave this world without letting my loved ones know that i cared. and i still do!
